Today was filled with a mix of emotions. To be honest, I slept in. I moped. And then I remembered that it was race day for members of my community. With only minutes to spare, I walked to one end of my street to see the runners start. And as I was standing there, I couldn’t help but to cry.
A year ago I PR’d at this race and I was hoping this year to shatter that time. The weather was absolutely perfect and really, a race always puts this contagious energy in the air. I surely felt it and only got more anxious. The crazy last-minute thought that popped in my head: go! Go put your running gear on, lace up and run with your co-workers. But there I stood, alone, at the corner ready to cheer them all on.
And that I did. For the full hour or so, I clapped. I shared words of encouragement. I smiled. I even got to hold the glasses of the second place overall finisher.
I also witnessed something that I’ve never seen at a race: hostility. A neighbor cursed at me, flipped me off and then proceeded to get out of his car and interrogate me. Gosh for bid he sat at the stop sign for two minutes to let the runners pass. Gosh for bid he keep his trap shut because hello, I wasn’t the coordinator for this event. And he wasn’t the only one. I seriously thought a runner was going to be hit by some other fellow who was in such a rush to get to the Farmer’s Market bodega. At one point, someone in the apartment behind me started to mock me and my cheering and started repeating me quite loudly. I only saw it as an added spectator. Thank you randomly annoyed neighbor who helped cheer for at least ten minutes.
No poor-attitude neighbor would leave me sour; instead I left inspired. So much so that I went out and bought myself a new pair of sneakers. I’ve needed a second pair to start rotating for a while now, and no better time than this weekend. I was going to immediately go out and test them but reminded myself not to push it. Tomorrow morning, rain or shine, I’m running my own 5k.
I guess I didn’t know how much I loved this sport until it was taken away. But I guess that’s like most things in life, gotta remember to enjoy it all while we can.
and p.s… this pair of sneakers will carry me across the finish line next month!
Let yourself heal properly, and you will be crushing all of your expectations. Take it from one who learned the hard way and is now finally doing it right. It is hard to take a deep breath and step away, but every so often we need to do just that. You are an athelete. Treat your body like the temple that it is.
Love you angel.
thank you for all of your continued support, Mama P!