Warning: mini rants are about to happen.
The idea of this post came to me over the weekend while I was visiting my family. All was calm in the living room until my sister came running in yelling, “Oh em gee. Could this person not be more obnoxious? I don’t care that you have a boyfriend and that you two are perfect and that he makes your life complete and that you are dying without him.” And I couldn’t agree more. And she’s in a serious relationship people.
What I’m referring to are those friends on the oh-so-popular media site that update their statuses like fifteen times a day and include a little tidbit about being in love with their partner. I get it, you’re in love. But I got it after like the third post. If you are my friend, it’s likely that I’ve stalked your page and saw that you’re in a relationship. No need to blow up my news feed with updates like, “I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND AND HOW HE ALWAYS MAKES MY DAY!!!!!!! ♥ ♥” or “CANT WAIT TO BE TOGETHER AGAIN!!!!!” or “Then running some errands with boyfriend (insert smiley face).” Yes, these were stolen off of actual walls… I didn’t know parents were now naming their sons Boyfriend.
I must make a disclosure and say that this is not the single me raging out against these posts, it’s the concerned friend that’s calling you out as being pathetic. Really, every. single. post? Maybe try taking a more conservative route and message your boyfriend, privately. Or put up the song lyrics that you, eh, made out to last evening, that could be fun. I’m not judging your relationship or commitment to that person by the number of times you mention them on a daily basis. If this were a competition, woah, a few of you would be the winners.
And all this talk about partners and how they are the “perfect fit,” insert pet peeve number two: there is noperfect fit. Or at least in my world. And I don’t mean to sound obnoxious or rude but seriously, if you need someone to feel complete, real or even feel in this world, then I feel bad for you. I get that you may not be as independent as others but not being able to feel whole as who you are as a person on your own is something you should master before trying to introduce another human being into the mix.
I think there is a huge difference between being the perfect fit with someone and being perfectly comfortable with someone. I want to be comfortable with that other person in my life but not to the point that we don’t push each other’s boundaries. I’ve learned from my previous relationship that I like turbulence, actually love it. And it gets to the point that if I’m bored or not challenged by this person, I create problems aka picking a fight about anything and everything. Having someone in my life that is my perfect fit and understands me 100% of the time is less appealing, boring actually. I want to be with a person who will not only fight with me, but fight for me and my relationship because they want to see things work out the following day once things have cooled down.
I guess what I’m saying is I don’t want to just fall for the next person that comes into my life. And then just settle in comfortably into the “perfect fit.” I want to meet someone that I want to work to know each day and why they do certain things, and vice versa. I don’t want them to assume that they know everything about me within six months and forget to ask me why? Why do I have a fear of suffocating when closely sleeping next to someone? Why don’t I take out the trash every week? Why don’t I change my own oil after each six thousand miles when I must have seen it done a bazillion times? I know it doesn’t sound like the stereotypical fairytale, but I don’t want to fall in love and be done. I want to fall each and every day. And still feel those butterflies in the pit of your stomach when it happens.
My life as a new single gal is constantly changing and is sometimes, more often than not, a mess. I want to find someone that is comfortable with not only me but the mess that brings the two of us together. He doesn’t have to love all of the things that make me a mess but who I am because of it. The fitting together part will come eventually over time.
Guh. Left a comment and the page randomly refreshed and deleted everything.
Anyway, long story short re: people posting incessantly about their significant other. It’s not other people you have to convince, it’s yourself, and I’m convinced through personal experience that the person is doing it more to reassure himself or herself than everyone else. There’s no reason anyone older than like 12 should be doing that stuff. I don’t even get angry anymore when I see it, I just get kinda sad.
Also, those people tend to be dullards. There. I said it.
couldn’t agree with you more! thanks for checking out my site!
meh, i have to admit, i’m guilty of posting statuses like that… but i am in no way compensating for anything, cuz honestly, at this moment my relationship is getting better and better each day… i’m just so happy at that moment that i want to exclaim it to anyone, whether they want to hear it or not… i don’t do it to make people jealous or feel any certain way, i do it cuz i’m happy and if ppl can’t be happy for me then kick rocks!!! haha idk, my theory is “if you don’t like it, don’t look at it” lol
wah, you are one of those people BUT not one that does it every.single. time. I guess the question is, are you doing it at this point in your relationship because it’s going so well and you want everyone to know because you two survived a “rocky” period or because you really don’t give a fuck and think he’s the only one that reads your statuses?
the first one… he barely goes on fb LOL every1 that knows me (and obv you lol) knows that i completely wear my heart on my sleeve & i’m outspoken (not always a good thing lol), so if i write it, that’s exactly how i’m feeling at that moment! i don’t feel like i just say it to say it, you know? i’m not looking ppl to comment on those statuses, they just are what they are i guess, regardless of who’s reading it.