I’m that girl who…
- Releases all of her built up frustrations on the oh-so-popular media site… auto correcting everyone’s spelling errors. I don’t want to come off as this stuck up spelling queen but it really is a pet peeve of mine to see people misrepresenting themselves or their businesses. I’m not even really polite about it, I admit that. I also admit that I am not the best speller, but let’s take a hint people: the red line under the word means it’s misspelled!
- I’m that bitch at the end of the highway that won’t let others merge into the designated lanes. This is my philosophy on the topic: I worked hard to get to the spot I’m currently taking up. You on the other hand thought you could skip the whole line and merge over oh-so impatiently. And just because your red Ford pickup truck could roll over my little Fit, I’m not afraid of you. Nor will I let you butt the line. Instead, I’ll flash you a smile and gesture with my thumb to get back. Yeah, I said it. Get back.
- Speaking of buts, I’m that twenty-something year old that still giggles about specific words when the professor says them or writes them on the whiteboard. Just last Monday I contained myself until the last few moments when I had to ask if he wrote “but bubbles” on the graph that was already confusing to read. Confirmed, it was but bubbles. I still don’t know why he wrote but in front of bubbles but we all had a good chuckle (and apparently I was the only one that had the nerve to say it out loud). But bubbles… in investments? Ha!
- Eats her medium-sized McDonald’s french fries in the car. And then feels the need to confess to everyone in fear that she smells like the medium-sized french fries. All I can say is, I couldn’t help it. I seriously and openly admit that I judge people who eat fast food but sometimes completely succumb to the craving and purchase it myself. I think they (as in the fast food companies) put chemicals in those fries that FUCK with my body and make me crave them at the most random times. It’s like crack. I seriously feel bad for the future father of my children because if I can’t control it now, who knows what heck he’ll be forced to go pick up for me in the middle of the night when I have a little craving.
- Takes a photograph of herself while extremely trashed… and on the toilet. There is nothing flattering about these bathroom shots nor do people really want to know what you look like while you’re doing the deed. Bathroom goer beware: not only do I photograph myself, but others. Especially if you are doing something scandalous (like peeing in a sink) and then I’ll tag you on the oh-so-popular media site. Yes, I would be mortified if you did this to me. No, I don’t mean to do it on purpose. Yes, all I can say is that I can’t help it.